How I realised everything I was thinking was wrong.

I think a lot about why people act the way the way they act and think the way they think and want the things they want. I suppose this means I think a lot about identity, which has been a bit of a running theme around the youth ministries recently so I'll write a bit about where I'm at with it all.

My default has always been that nothing ever done is anything other than inevitable. There's something (or a combination of things) that at some point has dictated to some extent that I'm going to be the person that I am and therefore do the things I do. All anyone is, is the product of the things that happen to them; the culture and society they're born into; the way they're brought up and whatever fortuitous load of genes they're born with- we're all foreordained to do what we do and be who we be. It's a bit deterministic I suppose, which is bleak and recently upon discovering more consciously that this is how I think I started questioning it.

This sent me down five main lines of thought I'll either explain very briefly or not get into at all. (skip to five if you don't care for my digressions)

1- Criminals. I won't name specific cases but we can all think of them: those stories the media runs with that can shock a nation- individuals committing acts of outrageous violence, malevolence and immorality. And sometimes these stories are worse than any we've heard in a while, and we're suddenly not so inured to injustice. In my experience people respond in one of two ways. One is to demonise the transgressors: view them as 'monsters', less than human aberrations and sit comfortably and proudly above them, because they're evil and we're not. A very easy approach to take, maybe even the right one, but I've never quite felt comfortable with it. People aren't just inherently bad (I tell myself). The other tactic is to place blame. Why did that happen? Was it the police, social services, television, the government, the parents? Pick one, stick to it and move on. Until recently this is what I've found myself doing when faced with these situations, because it's nice to be able to intellectualise and it fits with my theory- that there must be something to blame, it was never just a random act. People do what people know and react to circumstances they're in. It's out of the hands of the individual. The implications of this would be that no-one can be held morally responsible for any action.

2. Homosexuality. I'm bored of the debate now, and I won't write down my opinions but to be brief I was thinking about the 'nurture' argument- to assume one is not born a homosexual (not that I do or don't, just a thought) what circumstances might influence their sexuality? And it went on...

3. Physics. Following a conversation with Sam of which I forgot the conclusion, I asked Grandad Wichmann if it was possible to create a random number generator and his answer, to put simply, was no (though he has invented his very own pseudo-random number generator.) Anyway, I was wondering if determinism can be applied to physics and from what I can gather, in some quantum cases it can't and randomness happens.

4. National identities. What's England's? How does it change? Where do they come from? etc 

5. God. Once a year I'm wrong and this is one of those times. Because there is a God, everyone has options, everyone can be held morally responsible, everyone has freedom in who they are and what they do. Our identities aren't determined because when God gets involved, our identities are in Him- our choices are in Him. We have the decision in everything we do and he showed me this recently in a pretty challenging way. Of course we're influenced by everything around us, and He has overall control but that doesn't mean we're predestined. 

I was fearfully and wonderfully made not my accident. 

Having an identity in Christ is where I'm at, walking in it is the goal. On away week He spoke a lot over all of us about who we are in Him when we did listening for it and loads of exciting things came up. 

There was a picture of me handcuffing myself to Jesus and this still makes me laugh because honestly I'd do it quite literally if I could. I want to be committed to Him, and go where He goes and nowhere else.

As always, this has been ramble-y and unnecessarily long but my conclusion is all that's important: there is always a choice and my identity is in Christ.

1 Peter 2:9